Juxtaposition: What if you had scheduled tweets very far in advance and then you died before the tweets had completed. Your tweets would go on after you did, like Billy Mays commercials. Speaking from the great beyond. Leaving a tweet legacy. There have been a couple of tweeters that I did not get the pleasure to meet until after they met with untimely deaths. Their video blogs, Facebook pages, twitter feeds and blip.fm streams sang on after their deaths without even having anything scheduled. Their social media connections went on to get the hits they deserved while they were among the living.
My first thoughts on this subject were about scheduled tweets going out after the tweeter had been killed in a car accident or some other very unexpected death. However, since the death of my father two months ago, I began to wonder “what if the dead could read our tweets?”. This is much like the supposition, “what if the dead can see me now?” or “what if the dead can hear me now?”, but applies Twitter as a sort of Oujia board.
Communicating with the dead or at least wanting to communicate with the dead is an ancient idea and nothing new, but watching people live on after death is new since media has taken such a strong hold on our lives. The individual has never had a chance to showcase their own life the way they do now.
Perhaps you have seen someone tweet to God or tweet to the dead before. I have. I have seen people experience grief meltdowns on Twitter. I have also seen people hold it together in incredibly difficult situations such as after losing their spouse and I have wanted to ask them why are they tweeting? Why not go and let yourself grieve? Don’t put yourself through this. It is not a contest to see who can go through the grief process fastest. Of course, two months ago I recognized that tweeting through grief is therapeutic and an excellent coping mechanism. Twitter is part of daily life for many of us, connecting us to our support system of friends, co-workers and even family members. It is not something that should be suddenly stopped when one loses a loved one.
So how do you tweet with someone after they have lost a loved one? The answer is very simple: exactly as you would talk to them if they were standing before you. It makes us uneasy, but this is when our friends need us most.
1. Express your empathy, condolensces and wait for the grieving tweeter to set the level of interactivity.
2. Everyone is different. Never make them feel bad for laughing or learning again to enjoy life.
3. Realize that there are struggles that can come seemingly from nowhere.
4. Never push for details or ask questions beyond the comfort level. Twitter is a highly public place, even if you have protected tweets, they are subject to getting out publicly. Respect their privacy.
5. (((HUGS))) are always welcome!
This post is dedicated to the late tweeters @melisangel @megapixel who both have left evidence of extraordinary talent all over the web. @megapixel had a beautiful singing voice and sang on her video blog.
Remember the dead, but celebrate the living.
by Anita Nelson @ModelSupplies on Twitter – Follow me!
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